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[ 11/01/04 ]
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A Scottish lassie had na been home for o'er 5 year. Upon her return, her father cussed her.
"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?
Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff...dad...I became a prostitute..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye may wish. I just returned to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom castle plus a savings certificate for $5 million.
For me wee brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old man a hug!"
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